MA Program
Looks like a decent MA program in Digital Culture in Finland. Application has been extended to May 31st. I wish I had the finances to apply (well, to actually move the family there if I were to apply and get accepted).

Game Studies
The dichotomous debate within Game Studies is more often then not, one between narratology and ludology, but lately, another – less formal – debate has come to mind. The one between gamers are researchers and non-gamers as researchers in the field of game studies. There are pros and cons from both perpespectives. A gamer who draws on their own experience can be biased in terms of their opinions based on their past and how they see games, and what they consider to be what ‘its all about’. This side of the debate often accompanies the ‘how can you study something if you’ve never experienced it’, and therefore tends to disregard research done by outsiders.

The other side of the of this coin – the non-gamer researcher, has its place as well, often claiming that their view is a fresh one – not tainted by experience, therefore seeing what the research for what it says, and not a form of reflexive analysis.

Both sides have valid pros and cons that can be read in any anthropological methods text can explain the intricacies of fieldwork, participant observation, autobiographical work and ‘going native’.

I admit, I belong, in many ways, to the first camp. I am a gamer first and researcher second. I research stems from my experience. My personal experience is always my starting point. But as a sociologist (i am told i can call myself that now that i have graduated!) what i am challenged with, what i struggle with every day in my work as an academic, is distancing myself as a player from thinking of myself as researcher. Yes, my experiences are rich ones to draw upon, but i need to keep it in context – that those experiences are points of departures, not the conclusion.

In game studies, i admit, when reading something from an author who played a game to get data, i often find myself saying ‘no, its not like that’ and their role as researcher is painfully obvious in terms of being someone who doesnt get the ‘inside’ of the game. But then, i have been challenged by other gamers (my partner included) as not being a “real” gamer … which puts my role of ‘player’ in question when i am using that experience as a researcher. But not being the same type of gamer as my partner does not discredit my experience playing the same game as him. It merely makes my experience different.

How does this tie into my gamer as researcher and researcher as gamer spiel? Well, my question is – who validates what a “real” gamer is? Whose experiences are “more valid” then others? And who decides? And what does this do to the black and white dichotomy of ‘non gamers’ and ‘gamers’ as researchers? A colleague recently had a similar discussion with a colleague of hers who was accused of not being a “gamer” but in her defence, talked about the games she did play back when… would this academic have to stop being interested in and working on research that pertains to anything past her personal experience?

Back to Games
Over the last few days, my boyfriend has been playing Heritage of Kings: The Settlers. Not a bad game per se, but watching him get frustrated when the game crashed a few times, made me ask a few questions. After checking around online, we found out that there is actually a patch that needs to be uploaded, and there are several known bugs that affect game play, not to mention issues surrounding the ‘supposed’ AI.

This is not the first game that I have witnessed such issues comprimising a game. Sadly, it is not even a rare occurence – it seems to me that out of the umpteen number of pc games we have (not to mention ps2 games!) its is more common then not to have a bug that alters game play. (this is often fully admitted by the game designers at some point after release)

So i ask myself, why is this acceptable? Would such subpar construction of any other product be acceptable? If i bought a table – at full price mind you – i would not accept it having one leg shorter then the other three…. i would not buy a television that works most of the time. Why is this acceptable when it comes to games (and i could even stretch this rant to computer technology – ive lost count how many network cards, bum memory and fizzled hard drives we have gone through – some of them not even lasting 3 months)

I understand that games are released before they are ‘ready’ and that the publishers and financial backers want their return as promised, but by delivering a half broken product, all it does (imo) is give the games bad ratings. Although I understand now why cheats and walkthroughs have become more and more popular .. its not necessarily because gamers are lazy – as was my first thought ;o) , but because when faced with a bug in a game, a gamer has no choice but to check out the walkthrough to make sure there really is a problem.

Musical Poetry
One of my newly discovered favorite bands, The Whole Fantastic World offers a site to listen to select tunes. They also offer a link to the lyrics of each song listed. Here is my favorite song – poetry i tell ya =)

Postcards From Out of Town:
“Clearly its evident,” she uttered into the machine“Amateur journalists of late seem to lack discipline”A frightening trend she thought as she wiped her glasses cleanRetiring another vodka drink with diligence

Aperitifs arrive transporting poisons to our tickled sidesShe waived the waiter by and asked him to view an old photo of mine“Would you have known that this man’s words would inspire millions?”the conversation was dry but for the first interview in years it was fine.

“In the beginning it was easy it just poured out of me I had this place near ishikawa that I shared with Jii.Id spend my morning in the bower (trellis) writing over tea. It was Jii’s profound love of flowers that inspired Reed.”

“Postcards From Out of Town, your third novel, made waves the whole world round”She place her notebook down and without asking called for another round“Were you surprised?” she said searching for something in my eyes.“To be so we’ll received by Europeans after writing malady?”

“Well as you know the Europeans are quite dear to me, but to be honest those review meant so little you see, I believe an artist when he’s looking, he can’t really see. So I keep my eyes closed tight and all my fingers on the keys.”

This was the last exchange for only moments later an anxious waiter screamed “It’s out of love my brothers that I give my life and deliver each of usbut for you ungrateful sinners this was your last dinner and the last chance to make peace. for all of your worldly pleasures, and unholy leisures I pray god grants forgiveness NOW!

Postcards from out of town inform me your condition remains sound.A line read world round. As ashes blow through windows all over town.

Help for Gamers
When I saw this news title over at Yahoo!, my eyes were already rolling before i clicked the story link. Interestingly, the article had nothing to do with addiction and self help, but with the weekends hot searches.

It also showed me that i dont read the fine print – heh. Below the title, it said “What’s a walkthrough? Searches prove it’s a crucial element of a hardcore gamer’s life.

I find it interesting that walkthroughs and the like are now considered a mainstream part of gaming, and not considered to be ‘cheating’. Although this idea is up for debate (a recurring topic over at Terra Nova), walkthroughs are becoming more and more a part of the game… makes me wonder if the designers take this into consideration when designing a game.

More digital kids
Over the last few weeks, I have been thinking about the social differences between my childhood and my daughter’s. I recently posted about her favorite website the N, and its methods of creating one’s avatar. She has been saving her credits the past few weeks for the hairstyle of her choice. Although she can afford other styles, she is adamant about saving her creds for exactly what she wants. I realized, this is another lesson being learned. It could be personality (she is better then I am at saving her pennies!) but i think the valuable lesson taught in her virtual world, is being given the opportunity to exchange currency for goods. A lesson that is harder to learn in a tangible world when you arent old enough to get a part time job.

Another positive difference I have seen over the last few weeks is the opportunity for my daughter to socialize outside her normal circle of friends. She has been dealing with some severe rejection borderline bullying by her (ex) group of girlfriends. Although she was devastated in the beginning, hurt in the middle of it, and now blase about their silliness, one thing that has allowed her to keep her head above water was the opportunity to communicate with other girls she has never met who are going through similar social issues. She understands that there is much more to life then the walls of her school, and the people in her neighborhood. Valueable lessons at 13 (well… almost 13) I remember being young, going through similar woes in a rural community, and in those days, your social circle at school were your life. Although she is sad that those friendships soured, she’s made new friends at school and still enjoys an active social life online.

To me, these are positive, valuable differences that the internet offers.

Shift in Thinking
It is with pride and relief that I announce that as of 10:30am saturday morning, the official end of my BA arrived. I am now working on other projects that require just as much attention and just as much work, but I’ve realized this morning that there is a shift in how I am approaching the readings I am doing as research – not as ‘required reading’ to be ingested, internalized and regurgitated in a standardized fashion. Until further notice, I am not longer expected to simply repeat what I am reading to prove I am ‘learning’.

I am now working on research for the EverQuest Reader project, as well as my DiGRA paper. In these works, I am not looking to prove to someone that I did my homework per se, but I get to be critical, work towards my point of view, work outside the box I feel i have had such a hard time staying inside while doing my BA. I get to say what i want to say, and yes i may get criticized, but i wont get penalized. I feel in many ways, I have arrived to a point in my life where i can work on things that i want to do, not because i have to but because i WANT to.

Its both scarry and exhilirating .. i only hope i can keep up.

How Kids Build Community: Cyberstyle
My daughter belongs to a Nickolodean sponsored website, The N , originally designed for tweens and teens. She has been participating in the message board community on this site for almost three years.

Board participation is reward based; the more you post, the more credits you get. These credits are used to buy your base avatar and accessories such as hairstyles, clothes headphones and jewelry. But this is not the only way to accumulate points. The boards have strict rules about posting any personal information, and has a zero tolerance for private chatting (no passing around your msn or aim to people you meet on the n). They have implemented a reward based snitching system. When a member sees posts that go against the board rules, the person who reports the infraction gets credits added to their account. If a member makes a false report, they are penalized by having credits removed from their account.

I’ve been thinking about this method of keeping the boards clean. Sharing personal information is prohibited – and for good reason. What is the difference between having each other responsible ‘police’ the environment and the company having monitors that canvas and delete posts? What are the implications in an anonymous system? What does it teach kids?

The internet offers kids so many spaces to call their own – even if some of them are owned and operated by corporate america with flashing banners, its better then the mall i wandered endlessly at her age. (in that it offers more opportunities)

On a side note, they recently made some structural changes, raising the age of participation to 13. Sadly, my daughter no longer has access to the account that she has been cultivating for almost three years. Although her 13th birthday is in a few months, she has created a new avatar to continue participating in the community – but she was put in the position that she had to lie about her age in order to create a new character. She will regain access to her old avatars on her thirteenth birthday – a day she looks forward to for so many reasons. But I question the company for taking her access away without notice.. and since its so easy to lie about your age, what was the point?

Here’s one girl’s avatar:

More playing with pictures – this is my oldest daughter and her avatar, Abbie. 

Playing with Pictures
Just figured out how to get pictures posted to blogger… i apologize in advance =)