From sex and violence to … violence in a fish costume? Yes, indeed! After finishing the game, you are rewarded with being able to replay the game with your full abilities, arsenal and a bonus fish suit. Yup! Kratos pulls up his tights and slithers into a giant fish costume and resumes the vengeful battle. There are other alternate skins (7 to be exact) to be found through completing higher levels and different tasks, but surely none are as great as the “Cod of War”

Well, now that my thesis is in the safe and critical hands of my committee, I can pretend to relax, and move on to the other things that have been neglected in my life over the last three months. Indeed, I have to see if I even still have friends – as I noticed this morning that one of them who I have not spoken to since January has changed her phone number!

I have recently been invited to participate in a workshop on PhD applications at the upcoming SAGSA conference. Luckily, I only have to speak for about 10 minutes … anyone who knows me might laugh at how I might restrain myself – but I still hate the idea of public speaking (but I am getting better at actually doing it once I’m there). Should prove to be interesting as I am talking about applying to the PhD through contacts.

On that note, I have to get to my PhD application for Universite de Montreal, as they have finally opened up their “Doctorat en Etudes Cinematographiques“, which closes May 1st. Back to the grind of proposal writing, begging people to write nice letters about me and paying the university to look at my application!

Also on my list, is to put together some sort of print/e-version of the proceedings or related works on research methods from Trials & Tribulations symposium last fall. I always feel so bad that its already March, and this is just getting started now, but I think in this case, its better late than never.

Finally…God of War 2. We bought it the other day, and first of all, I have to say it is beautiful. I really enjoyed watching the first one be played (i am not too good at playing it, as my fingers and brain don’t work as fast as the game’s combat system requires – unless I want to have a full blown anxiety attack!). Instead of using the controller, I tend to be the backseat player, asking my partner 100 questions and trying to help with the puzzle sequences.

My youngest daughter also loves to watch her father play. (Different generation, different hobbies I guess heh). I must admit, through all the violence and bloodspill, mixed with a vengeful and testorone oozing being that is Kratos , I was none more disturbed at letting my daughter watch the game as when, early in the game, Kratos is dropped into a tranquil pool of water, with many little ‘spa’ like pools. I encouraged my partner to explore the area, although it looked too quiet for any good battle – surely there had to be something there – else the game would not have dropped him there. Surely enough, he stumbles upon two buxom babes, breasts aheavin’ urging Kratos to come nearer. As Kratos gets close and embraces both of them, you seen the camera pan out and to the right, focusing on a cherub water fountain – emulating urination of course. At this point, you are prompted to start pushing the triangle, circle and square button in rapid succession, as well as turning the center controller around and around. As you push the buttons, the cherub’s fountain sputters a little to the left and a little to the right – all to the moans of the two ladies. If you do not correctly enter the sequence quick enough, Kratos backs away and one of the women states that she was not finished!

My partner found this quite hilarious – he is the god of war sweety, is what he tells me – surely he deserves some respect! So, he tries again, to see what happens. If you follow the sequence correctly, and quickly enough, the cherub’s fountain sputters and then explodes. I was dumbfounded, a little repulsed and quite upset that my daughter (who luckily did not get the reference) found it hilarious that the little cherub was peeing all over the place. Kratos is then rewarded a handsome amount of money for his performance (didnt know the God of War was also a gigilo!)

So far, that is the only sexual reference in the game. But I am both disturbed by its presence, and to my reaction. Why is it ok for my daughter to watch heads being torn off, blood spattering all over. Even though she did not get the reference, why am I so offended by the sexual content and not the violence? Beyond my personal feelings that one need not be explicit to get a point across, I feel that somewhere, the violence should bother me just as much.

Concordia’s Sociology & Anthropology’s Graduate Student Association (SAGSA) is holding is bi-annual student conference, this year titled “Excursions in Anthropology & Sociology“. With an opening Keynote with Canada Research Chair in the Comparative Study of Indigenous Rights and Identity at Mcgill, Ronald Niezen. You can check out the preliminary program , there looks to be some very interesting presentations. Happy for me, seems to be lots on identity =)

I am not sure if there is an attendance fee, but it would be worth it is there was.

It’s printed – all four copies, in neat little piles sitting on my desk.
I am tired, it is late and I am slightly sick to my stomach… but I have been feeling that way the last 2 days as I realize I (was) am close to being done.

Tomorrow, I submit. It is in their hands now.
No fancy words, no waxing poetic – just a huge sigh of wowness…

Just under two weeks from that lovely weather forecast I posted, we are seeing the snow melt with temperatures above as High as 13°C! Almost seemed like a waste of time shovelling all that snow.

Now, formally 42 days behind schedule (still technically ahead of the University’s end all deadline for graduation … but that is assuming my committee wants to read and evaluate in 2-3 weeks!). Everyday I work. Everyday I say that THIS is the day that I print and submit… The more I write, the more I stare at my screen and fiddle with sentences and paragraphs, the further behind I get. I still haven’t even looked at fixing my references and bibliography to be pure and strict APA style!

No matter how close to being done I feel, I also feel like I could use another three months (which won’t happen but still – a girl can dream!)… (and speaking of dreaming – since WHEN did this girl’s dream go from sandy beaches and the right umbrella drink to fantasizing about more work time!?!? Travesty I tell you … travesty!

Well, enough procrastination for one day – if I worked as much as I whined about working, surely this would be written in the past tense!

And this is what I have to look forward to in the days to come. If this isn’t an excuse to work, I don’t know what is!

Since they are calling for a short winter here, I guess we are getting our customary end of winter blow-out sale early. We are looking at getting up to a foot of snow (30cm) in 24 hours with winds up to 44mph (70kmh). Will make for a nice mess just 48 hours to spring break! Ahhhh to live in this part of Canada you must love the snow – now if I only had a fireplace and a husky St-Bernard…

Like peanut butter and jelly, hard work and procrastination go hand in hand. Its March 1st, and my thesis is officially one full month behind schedule. It is not like I have not worked on it – and when I have it has been wholly productive for the most part (except those moments when tears trickle down my face in horror and anxiety when looking at my dismantled lit. review). But for the most part, I have been happy with the progress I have made WHEN I’ve made it.

On the side of procrastination … there has been a few questions that were distracting me. Like, why do we call it a “leap year” when we actually ADD a day and not skip a day in February? And another deep question to ponder, while eating popcorn one night, taking way too much time looking at each and every popped kernel, I wondered … Is popcorn like snowflakes? Are there ever two popped in the same shape? And another brain teaser … How do they make microwave popcorn… I mean, when I first started buying it years ago, it took 4 minutes to pop in my microwave, now the instructions have it down to 2 minutes… and I didnt change my microwave.. so WHAT are they doing to these poor kernels that make em go pop so much faster?

Thank god for Google is all I can say.

On that note – back to work for me!

After meeting with my advisor yesterday, I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I was nowhere near done my thesis regardless of page count. Fooling myself into thinking that I was almost done writing, the meeting was a well needed reality check. Although the “frame” of what I wanted to say is good, it remains a frame. Luckily, every page has comments scribbled in the margins to help me focus on what it was I was really trying to do.

So – my deadline has shifted – March 1st is now what I am aiming for, but after my meeting yesterday, I feel a bit better that the deadline is a soft one – that I might finish earlier, or later, but what really matters is getting what I have to say out of my head and down coherently on paper. It frustrates me that I know what it is I am trying to say – and when in conversation, I can express it in a thousand different ways, but when it comes to organizing it on paper – it gets lost in hundreds of convoluted sentences and misplaced paragraphs.

Indeed, it is a learning process – one that will make me stronger if it doesnt kill me first. Here’s to another bout of writing (will have to lay off the DDR for a bit!).

Over the last three years, those who know me, know that all the research and coursework that I have done has been towards one aim – my MA thesis. When asked, I always spoke confidently of my research topic, and how I had been working towards this goal for the last three years – since the year that I had met my advisor – writing my first paper on Rational Choice Theory and the guild structure in EverQuest (wasn’t even that bad really!)

But as deadlines loom, with my coursework over and convocation around the corner (well in a few months, but convocation deadlines loom!), I realize .. I am coming to terms with all the people who told me that the MA thesis was an exercise in mental capacity – that freaking out was all part of the process and that it is meant to challenge what I thought I wanted out of all of this. That if it doesn’t do this, then … well… most had nothing left to say since in all their experiences (this coming from more than one seasoned academic veteran and a student or two) everyone goes through moments of self doubt. Even the most prepared student who thinks they have it all under control SHOULD face some sort of moment of reckoning – thats what it is all about. I thought I was above that … I thought I had prepared properly.

Well, to all those who have tried to tell me … I get it now… As a good friend (and my relative second advisor) said, its like when someone who hasn’t had children tells you what they WOULD do in terms of child rearing …. yup – as a mom of two, I can relate to that analogy. You never really know till you get there.

So I want to acknowledge that as I submit my first (incomplete) draft, sipping the last of my wine, I understand now. Thank you for being there through my arrogance. The pie is settling well.

Yesterday while meandering through the aisles of the game store, searching for something to play now that we have finished Final Fantasy XII, we found Final Fantasy VII: The Dirge of Cerebrus. The story line takes place after the events of FFVII and FF Advent Children. Same beautiful animation, the tale of yet another character in the massive narrative that is the Final Fantasy dynasty but with a different type of gameplay. For some it is a welcome change, and for others not so much:

Dirge of Cerberus tells the interesting story of a memorable video game character, but beyond that it’s nothing more than a very generic shooter. (www.gamespot.com)

As a very novice player of the FF series, I enjoy watching the game more than I do playing it (I have always had a hard time managing one character, let alone 4!). Last night, as my partner was playing the game in the living room, my daughters and I watching the cinematics between battles, I started to wonder about a few things.

In a game as complex as any of the Final Fantasy games, where one can complete the game per se but with only 53% completion rate, what does that do for the cinematics/cut scenes? In the class I took with Bernard Perron last year at the Universite de Montreal (Cinema, jeu video et fiction interactif), there was discussion about the use and purpose of cut scenes within the context of game-play.

I wonder – are the cut scenes dependent on your play choices in a series such as FF or do the cut scenes drive your play choics? If cut scenes were there to drive the narrative of the play along, but you can complete the game, with (i believe) the same ending at 53% or 99%, what role does your play really … play? By taking different play paths in the game, are the cinematics organized differently? Or does the play navigate the player to the relevant cut scene to further the narrative? How many scenes were missed if I finish the game at 53% and what extras do I get at 99%? And do they even matter if the narrative winds the same way at either percentage to the same final scene? I don’t know if this really makes sense – please feel free to clarify – by all means actually!

Finally – as a spectator, we enjoy the cut scenes in the Final Fantasy series, and for us (my daughter’s and I) we often urge my partner to hurry up and get to the end of the fight so we can see what is next, I wonder if there are online versions of each games cut scenes sewn together to make a film of sorts. And if so, how congruent are they (or would they be) in this case?