Trudging Through The Mess

I am full force into the writing stage of my PhD – I am aiming for a March deadline for a full draft. My first bit of feedback was not quite what I was expecting, but I must remember that this writing thing is a two way street. One’s expectations might not quite match to that of the institution’s (or those who represent the institution). But that is hardly the real problem in all of this solitary writing experience. The real problem – at least for me – is that the more time I sit alone with my research – my notes and outlines, drafts and screenshots – is that I sometimes lose my point or start to doubt my purpose.

I used to be so driven and excited  – I was out to prove something – to express what was trapped inside my head. These days, I feel like the words that propelled my writing  have all but escaped me. My passion to demonstrate – to prove my point – has escaped me as well. I am sure it is just a phase. Surely a phase that many people go through while writing such a large document… I just need to find my way back to that passion that leads to the words flowing out of my fingertips onto the page so that I can have something to edit – to polish and make pretty.

On that note –  I will open my the chapter in progress that has been haunting me for the last month and hope the sun shining through my office window will help illuminate my mind and get this done so I can move on to the fun bits (game analysis!!)

 

Published by Kelly Boudreau

Associate Professor of Interactive Media Theory & Design at Harrisburg University. I research Digital Games, Play, Sociality, Avatars, Toxicity, and Social Norms & Boundary Keeping. Thoughts and ramblings on this site are my own as I grapple with all the things professional and personal and everything in between.

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